What to say when you see a Grief Heart
You’ll start noticing them—a cracked heart, with flowers by the fracture. When you see a Grief Heart, you’re seeing love that someone is still carrying. Many of us want to be asked about our person, but we don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or bring the room down. That’s where a few gentle words matter.
Here are simple ways to open the door:
- “Who are you remembering?” (most-loved)
- “Tell me about them.” (invite a story)
- “I’m here to listen, if you want.” (no pressure)
If they pause or choose not to share, you can say, “Thank you for trusting me. I’m thinking of you.”
Do’s
- Do use their name if you know it. Hearing a loved one’s name is a gift.
- Do follow their pace. If they share a little, mirror that. If they share a lot, make room.
- Do stay present. Eye contact, a slow breath, and your attention are more helpful than perfect words.
Don’ts
- Don’t try to fix it. There isn’t a fix. Presence is kindness.
- Don’t compare. Every loss is different, even if the labels sound the same.
- Don’t change the subject too fast. Let the moment land. It tells them it was safe to speak.
A short example:
“I noticed your heart pin. Who are you carrying today?”
“My daughter, Jess.”
“I’d love to hear about her—maybe what she loved most?”
That little lane—notice, invite, listen—lets love bloom out of the crack. If you take nothing else: Seeing the heart is your permission to ask.
Grief Heart Project 