The Paradox of Grief

Stephen Colbert’s words echo what the Grief Heart Project is all about

Every once in a while, I stumble across words that feel like they were written just for me. This quote from Stephen Colbert was one of those moments.

“Some people think that grief itself is contagious, so they don’t want to hear it or even address it, when in fact, it’s sort of paradoxical how addressing it doesn’t make it darker. It actually opens the light.”

When I first encountered this quote, I couldn’t help but think, ‘This is exactly what the Grief Heart Project is all about.’ It’s about creating a space where we can openly and honestly talk about our grief, without fear or hesitation.

Since Jess died, I’ve learned how often people shy away from grief. Not because they don’t care, but because they don’t know how to step into the conversation. They’re worried that mentioning anything will only add to my sadness. But what I’ve found, like Stephen, is just the opposite. When grief is spoken aloud, when someone is willing to share a thought, ask a question, or just sit with me in the reality of it, it doesn’t make the dark darker. It truly makes room for light.

The Grief Heart is a symbol of grief and an invitation for others to join the conversation. The heart, with its missing piece and flowers blooming through, is a way of saying, “This conversation is welcome.” It’s a visual cue that lowers the awkwardness and encourages people to lean in rather than turn away.

Grief is not something to leave behind; it is a part of us. Yet it becomes easier to carry when we join together. Each conversation, tender or honest, or joyfully silly, makes the path easier and reminds us that we are not alone in our journey.

Colbert’s words speak to the heart of the project. Talking about grief doesn’t deepen sorrow; talking about grief allows love to find its way.