I Currently Live for Morning

I wrote this last year, and so much of it is still true. What has shifted is the hunt for newness. The memories still come, but they do not always surprise me the way they used to. Still, I come back to morning, because morning is where I keep finding Jess, even when the finding looks different…

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I currently live for morning.

Not for the simple wonder a new day brings.

Not for the quiet that helps me plan my day.

Not for the first magic light hitting the Mountains, a daily extra gift from a house bought for its ocean view.

Certainly not that first cruel moment, when once again I remember that you are missed.

Not for the ritual of coffee together that has changed to tears shed.

I currently live for morning.

Morning is when the glimpses of beautiful everydays come back.

Boosted by Facebook Memories and photo archives, I search for moments previously lost.

New won’t be ours to have, so twinkles of things forgotten are precious.

Old blog posts and #StuffMyGirlSays help to cement tiny moments that could easily slip away.

I worry about the day when nothing new emerges and the glimpses cease.

But for now, I always find something fresh. Threads of you I didn’t know I’d lost.

Threads of you that keep me going.

I currently live for morning.